I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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