Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
