just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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