Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
