I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
