You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
last night I used snow as a chaser
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