Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
