erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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