Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
