Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
