North Korea, Best Korea!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
