Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
