I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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