maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
