All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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