shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
