There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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