I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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