nut hugger
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
