We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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