He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
