It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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