is your mom at the bar?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
