So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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