dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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