You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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