I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
