i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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