Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
