i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
how does that bad decision feel?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
