We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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