I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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