My room smells like vodka and shame
I need help removing her.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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