Nicole vs. Life
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
