I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
