guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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