Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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