i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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