Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
