I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
