My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
