I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
