i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
time to smoke my breakfast
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
