she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
