Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
