you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
