Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
