I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
