well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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