2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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