i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
